Rebekah’s Story, UK, Part 2 of 2

First time breastfeeding after surgery

Part 1 of Rebekah’s story can be found here.

Apparently blood started pouring out of me at a mad rate. They gave me the 2 injections but the bleeding didn’t stop – tried pushing down on my stomach to squash the uterus but again it didn’t stop. So last resort was to do a bimanual compression (midwifes hand up my foof holding the uterus to fold it and stop blood coming out and ask for a quick transfer to hospital under a code red! The ambulance took 25 minutes to arrive. I was bumped down the stairs on a bag as due to midwifes arm up my foof there wasn’t any way of moving me onto a stretcher. I could feel bump bump of every step on my back and then we went outside where I got my first glimpse of time. It was dark so it was some point in the night. I was also naked as this is how I had birthed – whilst they tried to cover me for modesty I could still feel rain on my face and my legs as we went out to the ambulance. In the ambulance she kept telling me to keep my eyes open and asking if I was still awake. Apparently blood loss was a major issue. I had lost 2 1/2 litres. This resulted in a blood transfusion of 2 units on the 2nd night in hospital.

We got to the hospital and a team were waiting for me in a room. A consultant tried to insert a pessary into my anus to stop the bleeding. This then came out of my vagina – So they tried again and again it popped out! This is where they then said I had a 4th degree tear which would needed mending in theatre and we would go straight down now. A 4th degree tear is a tear which goes right from the vagina through to the anus. Through absolutely everything and basically makes one hole! I was too out of it from giving birth to care what was happening around me at this point tbh! However once I came round from surgery I tried to rest and hubby was with me sitting in the chair. He said he needed to go home to sleep. But every time I closed my eyes all I could feel was the bump bump bump of the stairs from being transferred out. I got panicky as I couldn’t go to sleep and every time I closed my eyes this is all I could feel. It was making me agitated. At some point around 8am I let him go though. I ended up being in hospital for 5 days. I was good to go after 2-3 but as I had a 2 year old at home I knew that I wouldn’t get any rest once there so stayed the extra 2. I think a big part of my realising how bad things were was when I had my first poo in the hospital. It was the middle of the night and I was desperate for a wee (post birth no bladder control at all! :-o) So I left baby crying and went to the loo expecting a quick 2 minute job. But there was poo everywhere. All over my pants and my pad. I wiped and wiped and wiped and wiped and …wiped I couldn’t get clean. I must have been in there 10+ minutes with my baby still screaming. In the end I gave up as my mothering instinct of needing to be with my baby was too strong. I still have continence issues today. The wiping is not as intense as that that its everywhere but it does take 40/50+ wipes to get clean. There are tricks i’ve learnt to get round this such as just jumping in the shower! Then wipe again after getting out the shower. Inserting a finger to make sure the inside is clean. Otherwise if the outside is good then I walk around it will come down and either make me sore or mean next time I go there is yet more wiping to do!

I am still under physio as this has affected me both with the anal function side and also sexually. (More than one issue here …) My pelvic floor was shot to pieces and as such I have to do exercises daily for the rest of my life so that I don’t get a prolapse. Even then due to the severity I still might. Some people are lucky to that they recover and are then ok and others live with life long problems. Some have the worst and colostomies. I consider myself lucky in that my problems are not that far! Despite it all I am glad I had a vaginal. Ironically enough my midwife said that had I of had a breech birth then I might not have even had a 4th degree tear … This is likely but of course we will never know … due to the shoulder dystocia. I am now almost 3 years post partum and if I had another baby then I would have a Caesarean. This is only because I am still symptomatic so higher likelyhood of a worse out come next time. However we have decided we have 2 babies and no more for us. Too traumatic all round plus I don’t think my body could handle another pregnancy. Thank you for reading my story!

Rebekah ~ Aged 36 ~ Winchester UK

Facebook Instagram Twitter-@MothersWith4DTs

4 thoughts on “Rebekah’s Story, UK, Part 2 of 2

  1. I had a similar experience 34 years ago with my first. I still have continence problems – especially when stressed – but we manage to laugh, though it took a fair amount of time to get used to things?


    1. I’m always a little nervous about gas now that I’m post 4th degree. There is a fold inside me now that wasn’t there before and it collects waste on its way out, which just randomly comes out later. So every once in a while I suddenly feel the need to wipe my butt — because it’s dirty.

      The additional attention to that area causes damage that really irritates me all day while its healing. I guess some of the sensitive skin that used to be inside my rectum is now partially outside. That skin doesn’t fair well against toilet paper.


      1. I have the same exact problem, i can never wipe enough and my Skin id always irritated in the area.. how long has it been for you? I am not trying nerve stimulation but no difference so far its very depressing


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